Babies is one thing I always ponder when I think of my future.. Its weird but I think I will never completely be ready to stop having babies... and yet I know its not really the right thing for me... The natural desire to have a baby is so overwhelming though isnt it ! Never mind that I often have friends and family encouraging me to have another which never helps !!
I just know that having a 4th will yet again mean less time for my children who are already here ! I find it hard enough helping S with his reader and caring for Mr C when he needs me... how much harder will it be when REAL homework is involved...
I know its only a short time that its hard but then it becomes 4 kids needing me, 4 kids to deal with, get around, care for.... 4 kids to feed, find time for and buy clothes/toys/stuff/sports programs for ... 4 to help with homework ...
car, house, holidays, visting others... it all changes ...
and its not that I think having 4 children is the wrong thing to do ... I just feel that I would struggle to stretch myself across 4 kids and give them each what I want to, me completely and totally, not distracted me or tired me .....
Then I have to wonder if I am able to have another mentally...? I have dealt with depression before and watch myself closely for a relapse... I feel good now but how do I know another babe wouldnt slip me into that abyss.. How can I be sure that emotionally I am stable enough to have another ??
Never mind the strain on my body physically :s
I also want to do something for me soon, just me ! and I know that will be harder not just with another babe but as I get older it will be harder....
Hmmm I am babbling but its part of the process I guess.
Much more processing to go I believe but at this stage I think I like my odd little number :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
When I saw the post title on my Google Reader I wondered if it were a pregnancy announcement... LOL.
ReplyDeleteNo one can tell you how many is the "right" number. You know yourself and you know your family and the dynamics. Sounds like your thought process is sensible and thorough... and if you change your mind later, it won't hurt to have a gap. I'm one of 5 kids and there is a 20 year gap between the oldest and youngest. :D
wow a 20 year gap ! That is amazing .. how do all the siblings get along with the gap in mind?
ReplyDeleteWell, we didn't all grow up together but now that we're adults it's mostly amicable. The girls all get along pretty well (we're aged 49, 39 and 33) and the boys seem to do their own thing. Mine is an unusual situation though since there's sibling abuse involved (as you have probably read on my blog) so it's kind of hard to use us as an example, and I don't associate with the brother who abused me so I have no idea how he gets along with anyone...
ReplyDelete4. I can see exactly what you are saying. I am at peace with 3 at the moment but I am sure one day I will question 4. I guess it helps me that I'm not really a 'baby' person. I dont get clucky all that easily....
ReplyDeleteYour thought process is good. Its good to think things through properly xoxo